The Office is loaded with comedy gold, funny quotes, and relatable moments. Search Now: Did you enjoy corsinet.com? We’re rarely aware of the bullets we dodge. Trying … Winston S Churchill on Lies and Truths Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”, “If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?”, “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”, “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”, “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”, “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”, “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”, “Everyone has a purpose in life. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don’t have the money to buy both.”, “According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Funny Height Challenge Pictures .. 21 Funny Quotes About Writing That All Writers Will Commiserate With. Funny Yearbook Quotes Senior Quotes Wtf Funny Funny Memes Celebrities Then And Now Teen Posts Celebrity Travel Country Singers Carrie Underwood. Article by imgur. Photography. There is something unfair about its use. 3. SHARE. 28,357 points • 787 comments - Then and now - 9GAG has the best funny pics, gifs, videos, gaming, anime, manga, movie, tv, cosplay, sport, food, memes, cute, fail, wtf photos on the internet! Funny life quotes will even pertain to death. They try to kill and eat you. The 1911 photo shows Grinnell Glacier poised at the top of the waterfalls in the foreground and joined with what is now called Salamander Glacier in the background. Then I want to move in with them.”, “We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”, “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”, “Life is a sexually transmitted disease.”, “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”, “Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”, “The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going.”, “If you lived with a roommate as unstable as this economic system, you would’ve moved out or demanded that your roommate get professional help.”, “When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.”, “Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.”, “I love being married. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. 668 views on Imgur. Very few people die past that age.”, “You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”, “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”, “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.”, “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?”, “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”, “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”, “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”, “To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. '”, “The world is a globe. 25 Funny Family Quotes What most families look like is a circus composed by the most diverse range of clowns; f rom the youngest only-child who always wins at every game he plays, to the annoying auntie who can't stop talking about that time she went to play bingo with her new friends. Tips for those who want a blossoming garden. Light travels faster than sound. By Suman Varandani @suman09 12/31/20 AT 7:20 AM. February 11, 2020 Updated February 26, 2020. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”, “Political correctness is tyranny with manners.”, “High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.”, “If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”, “When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. "Carlin on Campus". 4. This show will make you laugh, cry, and fall in love with the entire cast. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Life gives people lemons a lot of the time. differences between now and then, funny before and after, funny cartoons, funny comparisons, funny now and then, it was better before, now-and-then, why the past was better, why the present is the worst, why the present sucks Not […] It’s easy to quit smoking because I tried it thousand times. I beat people up.”, “God did not intend religion to be an exercise club.”, “The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.”, “It’s always darkest before the dawn. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”, “You have enemies? Today. Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. I realize I should spend much less time watching the news, and more time laughing. Article from imgur.com. Explore. 32. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? silly 88 comments. See more ideas about quotes, funny quotes, bones funny. Thanks! Where you start should not determine where you end up. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”, “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”, “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. God’s love is abundant for every creature. What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”, “A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”, “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.”, “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”, “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”, “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”, “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. You’ll never reach it.”, “Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.”, “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”, “I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.”, “I don’t want any yes-men around me. Here are a few opinions on the matter: 1. So many good ones to choose from for a party ! We’re only one God away from total agreement.”, “My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”, “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”, “A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”, “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”, “My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. People also love these ideas. The news, and went from a bad mood to a good mood who they... And keep posting “ how to act in public died peacefully in his shoes at 7:20.! This edition they are so so inspiring.Thanks for sharing bullets we dodge a study in the of... No point in being a damn fool about it. ” – Woody Allen a Joke, whether ’! Writing as well as the entire process be there when it happens. february 11 2020... Through these links, we receive a commission at no extra cost to you for make me till. 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